As I am turning towards 45 this coming year, my mother is nearing a rite of passage birthday, the blessed 70. We talk a lot together about all topics one can think of, and I have learned a great deal from her. I told her that I will consider her a wise elder, starting at 70, where right now she is my wise mother. You could say that we are doing this rite of passage together.
I don’t think we listen enough to our elders. I see many instagram posts coming by from many people I know, saying how they do not want a president, but a council of elders. But do you even listen to your direct elders? If you look closely at the state of the world, you can see that the history always repeats itself, until we learn what we need to learn. Our elders have the wisdom, they have lived decades before you.
It is the same in our personal journey. We keep having the same issues in our own lives, until we look within and do the work.
I asked my mother to write some words, if she feels inspired. I honestly have never met anyone more grateful for life, then she. Like honestly, gracefully, blessed, actually grateful for Life, every second of the day. So authentically amazed by the beauty of life, not in a spiritual bypass way, but sincerely amazed by the creation all around us. And I know the hardship she has gone through, but she still sees only beauty. So who better to listen to?
And so it starts. Council with mama Cognati, aka Annemie Spoorenberg.
With love.
Why are we so Tired?
When I was a little girl life was a lot simpler. Our world was smaller even though we read the paper and watched the news on T.V.
Life was also very structured: you went to work, came home and spent the evening with the family, usually watching something together and knowing that everybody in the country watched the same programs. The world seemed small and safe. We had our community, family and work.
Our personal looks, our personal success and our personal dreams where not all that exposed or important. You lived your life in a secure circle it seemed and the atmosphere outside was full of hope, love and peace and there was a strong cohesion. Our parents had lived through the war and we wanted none of it.
Around the change of the century everything started to change. We introduced commercial T.V., and reality T.V. made his entrance and suddenly everything was out in the open. People showed their trauma on T.V., families their fights and crisis and the sky was the limit. Social Media was born and soon told us how to live, dress, behave, feel and we were criticised openly if we did not follow the norm.
And so we changed. We cared about what people thought of us and tried hard to meet the requirements of being great in our job, as well as an excellent parent, a good friend and a caring child and good person. We lost control.
The loss of control
The world changing did not help us either and we read about climate change, we saw the wars closer to home, with explicit pictures online everywhere and we don’t know how to deal with it.
Every day the world closes in on us even more. The wars come closer, climate disasters come closer, AI changes our workplace and will we have one in ten years from now, what about our children… and in the middle of this there isn’t a lot we can do.
So now we are tired. We feel powerless and function on automatic pilot and stuffing our free time with outings so we feel we use our time well.
And many people wonder how to change and let energy flow back into our veins.
I think the answer is to make your world quieter and smaller. I think we have to pause. I think you need to learn what is important and what is not in your personal life. It doesn’t mean you become a hermit and no, we cannot change the clock back either, but we definitely can take back control.
We can go back to the basics and ask ourselves what do we need. We can try switching off the social media now and then, switch off our phones and laugh a bit more about our own behaviour and the pressure we put upon ourselves. And we can take care of our loved ones and ourselves.
Go and walk outside bare-feet through the grass. Smell the air, hug a tree and kiss a cow and learn about the Power of the pause.
