What is Compassionate Inquiry?
Compassionate Inquiry® is a therapeutic method developed by Dr. Gabor Maté over several decades of working with trauma, addiction, and chronic illness. At its heart, it is a way of turning toward yourself — gently, honestly, and without judgment — to understand why you feel what you feel, and why you do what you do.
It is one of the primary methods I use in my online grief and trauma sessions. And it is, without question, the most transformative work I have ever encountered — both as a client and as a practitioner.
How does Compassionate Inquiry work?
Most of us move through life managing our emotions rather than feeling them. We develop patterns — people-pleasing, shutting down, staying busy, numbing out — that once kept us safe but now keep us stuck.
Compassionate Inquiry gently explores what lies beneath those patterns. Not by analysing them from a distance, but by dropping into the body, into sensation, into the moment where the feeling actually lives.
In a session, we might explore:
- A belief you formed about yourself in childhood — I am too much. I am not enough. I am not safe.
- A pattern that keeps repeating in your relationships or your life
- A grief that has never had space to be felt
- A part of you that shut down long ago and is still waiting to be heard
We don’t try to fix these parts. We listen to them. And something shifts when that happens — not because I did something to you, but because you finally met yourself.
Compassionate Inquiry for grief and loss
Grief is one of the places where Compassionate Inquiry goes deepest.
Not just the grief of losing someone, but the grief of a childhood that wasn’t safe, a self that went into hiding, an identity based on survival.
These are the griefs that live in the body long after the mind has tried to move on. The tightness in the chest. The heaviness that won’t lift. The tears that come out of nowhere, or the ones that never come at all.
Compassionate Inquiry creates a space where all of it is welcome. Where grief doesn’t have to be performed or justified or managed. Where it can simply be felt, at last, by someone who is not afraid of it.
Compassionate Inquiry for trauma and CPTSD
Trauma is not what happened to you. It is what happened inside you as a result of what happened to you. It is what happens when you are alone with the pain.
Compassionate Inquiry works directly with the nervous system, with the body states, the implicit memories, the survival responses that were formed long before you had words for any of it. It doesn’t ask you to retell your story over and over. It asks: what are you feeling right now, in your body, as we speak?
This is particularly powerful for complex trauma and CPTSD, where the wounds are not from a single event but from years of living in an environment that wasn’t safe, wasn’t attuned, or simply didn’t see you.
Online Compassionate Inquiry sessions
I offer Compassionate Inquiry online via Zoom, working with clients globally. Online sessions are just as deep and just as held as in-person work, many clients find the privacy and comfort of their own space actually allows them to go further.
Sessions are available on a sliding scale for those who need it. There is no prescribed frequency or pace, we go at the rhythm that is right for you.
I work with people navigating:
- Grief and bereavement
- Complex trauma and CPTSD
- Anxiety and emotional overwhelm
- Relationship patterns and attachment wounds
- Life transitions and identity shifts
- The quiet sense that something in you has never been fully lived
Why I work with Compassionate Inquiry
After many years of therapy, medicine work, and all sorts of holistic therapies, I just never could get to the root of my problems. I never got rid of the shame, anxiety, and hidden fear, with always present fear.
When I entered a masterclass with Gabor in 2020, I was blown away by the effectiveness of the therapy. After almost 4 decades, I finally met myself.
I found that the combination of compassionate inquiry with internal family systems and mindfulness practices is incredibly effective for trauma and grief. Since 2021, I have been offering sessions to clients all over the world, whilst simultaneously always working deeply on myself.
Compassionate Inquiry and Gabor Maté
Heal limiting core beliefs with Compassionate Inquiry
To heal, we must not only look at the past but learn to reconnect with ourselves in the present. Through Compassionate Inquiry, you can identify and heal the limiting core beliefs and coping mechanisms created in childhood. You’ll learn to recognise and reconnect with your authentic self — and understand the parts that became your personality but were never truly you.
This cultivates a new awareness — understanding your triggers, healing trauma, and breaking the stories that keep you looping in the same patterns. Compassion, self-love and embracing your authentic self ignite the way for true transformation and healing.
This work gets to the root of what’s blocking you from living the life you actually want.
I invite you to begin with a free 30-minute discovery call before we start working together.
Frequently asked Questions
Beginning Compassionate Inquiry is simple. The first step is to book a free discovery call, where we can talk about what you are experiencing, what support you are looking for, and whether this approach feels right for you. Sessions are available online via Zoom and are offered at a pace that respects your individual needs.
Yes. Compassionate Inquiry® was created by Dr. Gabor Maté and is taught through the official Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training programme. As a trained Compassionate Inquiry coach, I use this approach to help clients explore the emotional roots of grief, trauma and limiting beliefs in a safe, compassionate environment.
Yes. Compassionate Inquiry therapy can support people experiencing grief, trauma, complex PTSD (CPTSD), anxiety, relationship difficulties, emotional overwhelm, and life transitions. Every session is tailored to your individual experience, allowing you to explore emotions at a pace that feels safe and supportive rather than forcing you to relive painful events.
A Compassionate Inquiry session is a guided conversation that combines mindful awareness with gentle exploration of your thoughts, emotions and body sensations. Rather than giving advice or analysing your experiences, your therapist helps you notice what is happening in the present moment, allowing unconscious beliefs and protective patterns to emerge naturally. This creates opportunities for deeper healing and self-understanding.
Compassionate Inquiry® is a trauma-informed therapeutic approach developed by Dr. Gabor Maté. Rather than focusing only on symptoms, the Compassionate Inquiry method helps uncover the unconscious beliefs, emotional patterns, and survival strategies that were formed through difficult life experiences. By bringing compassionate awareness to these patterns, it becomes possible to understand yourself more deeply and create lasting change.