There are 4 healing A’s and 5 levels of compassion helping people on their journey of healing.
One of the 4 healing A’s that Gabor Mate speaks of in the @compassionateinquiry teachings, is acceptance.
“Being able to allow things to be as they are, however they are.”
Sounds simple maybe, but many have still to learn this art.
It is really good to stop and pauze for a moment.
Gabor emphasises; Accepting is not tolerating.
Read that again. Accepting is not tolerating.
When we are not listening to our authentic needs, we might be tolerating extreem discomfort, for the sole purpose of attachment, and/ or because of the belief systems that we have around ourself. “I am unlovable” “I am unworthy” “I am bad”
By tolerating the unbearable, we reject parts of our own authentic selves, with values, integrity and standards that we should respect and honour for ourself. And by doing so we are depriving ourself from using any of the other healing A’s; Healthy anger, Authenticity and Agency.
Acceptance also doesn’t mean downplaying emotions, or comments as “it could be worse, it is what it is”.
Acceptance means accepting every emotion that arrises. Grief, sadness, anger, pain. And just being with it. As @tarabrach says, ease into it. Feel it. Breath into the discomfort.
This is a practice, an art, that one doesn’t necessarily has mastered, if certain subtle needs were not met in childhood.
Just take a moment.
What are you feeling right now in the body?
Which emotion is present?
Can you accept that this is where you are right now without judgement and rejection?
Can you use compassion towards yourself?